The Wrong Choice

I had a good job and I wished to progress;

It demanded my all, so I couldn’t give less.

My days were spent working; few evenings were free,

But that was the culture, and not just for me.

And then I fell pregnant; it was the result

Of just once being careless – entirely my fault.

My reaction was panic with thoughts running wild;

How could I possibly bring up a child?

My lover lost interest as soon as he knew.

Leading me stranded without more ado.

My boss had no sympathy; all he could say,

Was a baby would mean my career thrown away.

Alone and depressed I decided to act,

Even though I was aware of the fact

That most of my thoughts had become rather blurred

And deep down inside me I would have preferred

Things to be different; but that wouldn’t be,

And everything really was just up to me.

So I phoned up the clinic, to fix up a date,

Hoping I wouldn’t have too long to wait.

And then it was over, and I felt relief;

Only months later did I suffer grief

Whenever I saw a young mother and child;

Years after I still cannot feel reconciled

To the fact that my baby died long before birth

And never enjoyed any time on this earth.

I still keep the date when he should have been born,

And tears fill my eyes as I silently mourn,

The child that should have been my joy and pride,

Growing throughout all the years by my side.

Especially as afterwards my job did not last,

And all my ambitions were left in the past.